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A Scotsman, an Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgee, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye buy a drink, ye buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy yir third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a good place.

Then the Italian says, "Yeah, dat's a nica bar, but where I come from, dere's a better one....... In Roma, dere's thisa place, Vincenzo's. At Vincenzo's, you buy a drink, Vincenzo buysa you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vincenzo buysa you anudda drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.

Then the Irishman says, "You tink dat's great? Where Oi come from in Oirland, dere's dis place called Morphy's. At Morphy's, dey boy you your forst drink, dey boy you your second drink, dey boy you your tird drink, and den, dey take you in de back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two.
"That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you??"

"No", replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister".

This is from my friend CG