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Tommy Cooper Jokes!
These are all Tommy Cooper jokes. Some of them are hilarious.
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside".
"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's"
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said, "Is that the local swimming baths?"
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said, "You've been promoted". And I swerved.
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they?
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places"
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.
My dog was barking at everyone the other day.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I bought some HP sauce the other day.
|This is from my friend CG|